Cameo 5 – The Shield Report

January 13, 2021

This essay explains an important point about miracles:  we may not appear in our right mind at the time we are expressing them.  Helen had re-written a colleague’s poorly written grant request for a non-profit that serves children.  Helen was upset at how poorly it was written.  Understanding the consequences (a loss of funds for at-risk children) she set about to write it correctly, even though she found the process taxing.   

Years ago, when I did direct social work with families in crisis, there were situations when safety plans were broken by the parents, or there was recurrence of abuse.  When this occurred, I would feel a range of strong emotions, including anger at times, as I set about a new intervention.  I would often be surprised that in my state of mind that I was still capable of writing an objective assessment on the family situation for a judge or supervisor. Surely, I thought, that my trembling, enraged fingers must have hammered out an enraged manifesto!  Yet I was able to assess the family in words that were accurate and objective. All the anger and fear served no one, including me.  The words I wrote on the page – the form – were still protective and objectively good. There was no reason to have lost my peace.  

Jesus is telling Helen something similar here:   

“If you had known that you were really performing a miracle for the Shield, for Esther, for yourself and for me, you would have done it with real joy. 

I see two important takeaways from this.  First, we should not dismiss our ability to act lovingly while we are still working through our grievance or upset.  Or course, it is wise to clear our heads and ask for guidance before responding to others.  But removing our upset, even with practice, can take time. In the meantime, we still need to communicate.  We can still give “miracles of devotion” under the ego’s duress. 

Secondly, the fear and negative emotions serve no one.  As we become trained miracle workers, our response, and our feelings as we respond, will become consistent.  We will keep our peace with people, no longer triggered by calls for help.  We will extend joy while also being joyous.  In the meantime, we keep moving forward with miracles – being courteous, kind, respectful and helpful.  Through this we create an “interlocking chain of forgiveness.” This is how we walk ourselves back to God, completing the atonement.   

Question for Reflection:  

Think back on a time when you gave lovingly to another while privately resenting them.  Can you see how you could have acted lovingly with joy and not negativity?   

Further in the notes, we learn that Esther is not just an ineffective grant writer, Jesus knows of many things which Esther has accumulated.  Some day, Jesus says he wants to tell Esther she is completely forgiven, the effects of her sins canceled.  When he does tell her this, “she will be afraid for a long time, because she will remember many things, consciously or unconsciously.”  

This is a theme in the Course, we hold guilt in place because we fear forgiveness. Can you imagine being told by Jesus you are forgiven?   How would you respond?  Jesus says that Esther’s response will to be in afraid for a long time.  Do you sense that fear of Esther’s is related to much more than a poorly written grant proposal?  It sounds like Esther’s accumulation of “sin” (her mistakes) has been ongoing, perhaps like Helen, over lifetimes.   

Question for Reflection: 

This passage gives us an idea worth reflecting on.  If you had a life review of your behavior and thoughts, based on a range from bad to good, would you be ready to accept forgiveness for those you deem bad?  This is the type of forgiveness Jesus is preparing us for.  His forgiveness of us can blanket us and support us.  He is “always here to protect” and will even give us “special signs of love” if they are needed to feel his support.  

Suggested Practice: 

Underneath are the Everlasting Arms, holding me safe and protected from all harm.