Miracle Principle 48, paragraphs 10 – 26
February 8, 2021
Paragraphs 10-13
Paragraphs 10, 11 and 12 discuss both the selection of life partners, and the decision whether to remain in a life partner relationship. Did you ever imagine taking such questions to Jesus?
We often pick partners precisely because they will fail in fulfilling our fantasy. By finding a partner that meets this condition (of falling short of my desire), it reduces my obligation to her; I remain “free” to be alone within the relationship, without the strain of expecting too much from her, or the strain of giving more of myself. Yuck. That is a hard picture to face up to. Thank God there is an alternative!
Jesus says once we become aware of what is occurring – that shadowy underbelly of my relationship to my romantic partner – that I need not necessarily walk away (or hope that she walks away).
“The lack of love…can often be corrected within the existing framework” (11:1).
We should not take this to me that we will always seek to correct within the relationship.
“If you shift your own needs, some amount of corresponding shift in the need-orientation of the other person must result” (12:1).
Sometimes that shift in both of you is enough to hold you together. Other times it is not. The Manual has a couple wise statements in this regard:
First, the end of a relationship is “not accidental…Each has learned the most he can at the time. Yet all who meet will someday meet again, for it is the destiny of all relationships to become holy” (M-3.4:4-7).
“[The Holy Spirit has] the power to translate your prayers of the heart into His language” (M-29.6:5). We can turn these matters of the heart over to God. Our decisions to repair or to walk away can be given to His care.
Notice how Jesus strikes a balance between the person who gives up all hope of finding a good partner and the person who is obsessed with finding the perfect partner. “None is in his right mind” (10:8).
Question for Reflection
Which end of the spectrum are you closest to? Do you hope for the perfect partner, or have you despaired of this hope and become jaded in the belief that the perfect partner is there?
The practical benefit of this reflection can help us no matter our stage in life or our current or future relationship status. The point to consider is that Jesus wants to take part in our evaluation now. There is good reason to hope that we can be well paired. And there is this refreshing caveat: do not fool yourself into believing this person will be perfect. If you are not in a relationship or are not looking for one, then this can still apply for you. We can use this reflection to heal our past, current (and future) relationships. We can “save the past in purified form” (T-5.VI.14:3).
Jesus gives us instructions in paragraph 13 on turning over sexual impulses to Jesus so that they can be replaced with love. This allows us to “acknowledge the true creative worth of both yourself and the other one” (7). (Of note: He does not say that doing so is cancelling the sex. He just said he allows us to recognize the true creative worth in our partner. Our fear has been replaced with love (5).)
Paragraphs 14 to 19
Sexual libido is a diversion from the miracle drive. Therefore, sex only has the illusion of creative power. Sex can deplete us because deep down we know it does not lead to true creative expression. (Recall “the thing to do with a desert is to leave” (43.12:5). The miracle comes far closer to expressing our true creative spirit and releases us from debilitating level confusion about the holy impulses for love that want to be expressed through us (15:3). We stand ready to give miracles. It is remarkable how cooperative, productive, and liberating a community or workplace can be when sex does not stand in the way. Staying focused on miracle-giving allows this environment to be maintained.
Paragraphs 19 to 26
These paragraphs discuss “need fallacy” and “lack fallacy.” We had no needs when we were in Heaven. “After the separation, needs became the most powerful source of motivation for human action” (21:1). If you review history, it is hard to argue with that last statement. Human action is always motivated by need. And we desire what we think we lack. If my belly is empty, I need food. If my social status is low, I need money. Those are the lacks and needs I perceive. But according to the Course:
“Separation from God is the only lack you really need to correct” (22:4).
The correction to these fallacies is to first correct the need fallacy, followed by the lack fallacy. I need to correct the idea that I am operating at “split levels” with different needs at each level. My only need is God, and so I only need to see myself as His Son, the spiritual level. Once I do this, I become aware I lack nothing. (Recall, “The mark of wholeness is holiness, not holes” (41.4:4).) I have no holes in me that need to be filled since God created me whole. The practical benefit that occurs as we make this adjustment is that all “lower-order” needs – food, human connection, money, or material things – are also taken care of. God translates prayers of the heart and answers by resolving all our need-lack.
Practice Suggestion
God has perfect faith in me because He created me. My belief in His creation produces my existence.